My classmates were pretty funky and I was put into the so-called “Nerd Class”. Don’t ask me what that means, I don’t know how the social cliques work yet. So let me give you a brief outline on how our timetable is set out. We have nine periods each day, one classroom that we have to stay in all day long because our teachers come to us, not the other way around. FUN, because this obviously means that there’s a better chance of us skipping class (Uh, NOT!)
Let me introduce you to one of my most dramatic teachers, Mr Wylyden. If he had a chance, he could honestly make it on Broadway. So our entire class forgot to do our Science homework. Our bad. But no, it honestly wasn’t our fault. He burst into class last period yesterday yelling “Do exercise 5.1 on page 99, along with 5.2; 5.3; 5.4…until the end of the section!” without even apologising to our teacher who stood staring at him, waiting for him to excuse himself (He didn’t) So I think it’s pretty predictable what happened next. We got detention? NO. That is most definitely not how it works in our school, not in Eiobra High. We are fortunate enough to have teachers who spend their spare time plotting excruciating ways to torture us, in Mr Wylyden’s case, a drama scene.
“HOW COULD YOU NOT DO THE HOMEWORK?!?! I’M SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU ALL, BACK IN MY DAY WE WOULD BEG OUR TEACHER’S FOR HOMEWORK!” (But back in the day technology was at a depressing stage and nobody had anything better to do). He hopped around the class dramatically, tugging at his hair in despair. He picked up the chalkboard duster and wagged it in front of our faces, threatening to…Well I don’t know. Chalk us. Then he dropped the duster in a dramatic I-give-up-hope-on-this-generation gesture and stormed out of our class, cursing and using words I didn’t even know existed.
10 minutes later
He walked back into the class to bang the duster frantically on the chalkboard, warn us that the principal would be paying us a visit, then stormed back out. My unruly class was rolling around on the floor bursting with laughter.
6 hours later
I made the soccer team! (Do the jiggle with me! No seriously. Our coach literally made us do a victory jiggle.) It wasn’t that big of an achievement though, considering the fact that Mrs Lyteria accepted anyone who could kick a ball (Which was only four of the girls who tried out. The rest of the girls screeched every time the ball even came close to them) And that’s when I met the two people who would be haunting me for the rest of my school life. Iola Janber and Xycobra Hill.
“Say hello to your team captain, Iola. This is Xycobra, he’ll be training you today. Have fun!” As soon as Xycobra set foot on the netball field, it was as if the world came to a sudden still, because every girl on my team was suddenly either giggling, fixing/twirling their hair, pouting or just being plain dazed (In my opinion, idiotic and a disgrace to my species). All except for me. I was rolling my eyes so hard I was sure they’d fall out.
Xycobra strolled on to the netball field in full school uniform (Red blazer, grey pants, white shirt and black tie) except for his All Star sneakers. I snorted. Who excused him from school shoes? He had milk-white skin, jet-black hair, along with emerald-green eyes and a piercing on his right eyebrow, bling enough to bring out the vertical scar across his brow. He winked at me and my gag reflexes were immediately triggered.
“Morning ladies,” he drawled in his full-on Afrikaans accent (Obviously making my team blush and giggle). “Show me what you got,” he flashed a bright smile revealing his perfect teeth and blush-pink lips. (More giggles and swoons. Where was everyone’s dignity?)
“Ow ow ow, isn’t this the newbie Schitin. Well hello there, love. You do realise this is the soccer team, not math-geek club?” he smiled. I shot him a dirty look.
“You do realise we’re supposed to be training, not auditioning for male model of the year, huh stupid?” I shot back.
“Oooh wow ey Ms Newbie is feisty, I like it.” he shot me an amused smile. That was IT! I ran across the field and took him down, ignoring the screams and squeals from my team. I hadn’t realised how easy it was to end up in the principal’s office on my second day of school.
WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. OR SCHOOL. OR WHEREVER YOU ARE IN THE WORLD.
1 hour later
“Yo Schitin!” I got a hard blow on my back from an unknown object. It was someone’s Physics book. I picked up the book and checked the label, which read ‘Property of Iola Janber’. I froze. She grabbed me by my shirt and threw me up against the wall.
“Listen to me, and listen to me nicely, you little piece of Indian crap. This school: My domain. You stay away from everything that belongs to me, including the soccer team AND Xycobra. Ignore me and I’ll have your intestines pulled out through your damn alimentary canal and out your nose.” (Talk about a detailed explanation) She then let go of my shirt and I fell to the floor, a perfect view to watch her glide across the school hallway like she owned it.
LORD, PLEASE SAVE ME NOW.
Copyright Aakifah Mahomed 18 May 2014
Note from the author:
To those looking forward to my next post, I’ll be blogging every Sunday in the near future. To keep up with any surprise posts, you can follow me on Twitter @aakiboo and I’ll let keep you updated 🙂
Thanks for all the love!
A kind reminder to all readers that the characters featured in this blog are fictional and are not intended to…well hurt anyone.
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If you’re slightly lost, Here’s the link to my first post: https://theblossomingfallam.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/the-new-girl-part-1/
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